God's ways, His Good and Gracious Ways

Our church building in the evening. The pastor's house though not visible is on the right. (Rev. H. Versteeg and our old deacon, 'haphap', chatting on left).

His name was Malcolm and at the age of 21 he died from blood loss after being hit by the car he was trying to hold up. He was big and handsome and a fearless leader. He didn't look like a raskol (a criminal), either.

We knew Malcolm, at least we knew of him. We knew him as the guy who led a gang to our church property one night in mid-2008. He along with 15 other youths beat down the iron door of the pastor's house that separated them from a number of household items and a fear stricken family. Inside, a young husband and wife, child, and three younger sisters waited, terrified and paralyzed in a corner. Our aged and frail deacon, "bubu" or 'haphap,' (above in picture) as he's affectionately called was also there. But he waited behind the door; like a lone, fearless warrior when his compatriots have all but retreated, he was ready to meet his attackers. And he did. The criminals finally entered and made quick work of 'haphap.' They gave him a surface cut to the top of his head with a long knife and told him to just " shut up and stand on the porch. " After that they pillaged the house and slipped away into the night. Thankfully, none of the young women were touched, though they shared that they relived the horrible event for months afterwards in their dreams.

Early the next morning we showed up. We brought 'haphap' to the hospital and after a few stitches he was fine. Then we filed a report with the police. But as they were of no help during the break in--they don't answer their phones at night--they were of no help afterwards, either. Subsequently, Malcolm and his boys were never found even as we pleaded with the community to not harbour these criminals. But the story of Malcolm continues and a year later he died. He died at work--the work of holding up cars.

His parents mourned his loss deeply, but his dad began to reflect on his own culpability. In his heart, he knew he had taught his son these furtive, criminal ways. Not that he gave his son minute to minute instructions on car holdups and armed robbery. No, in this culture you watch and learn. And his dad will readily admit that Malcolm would have seen or heard about many of his exploits. Malcolm's dad was a seasoned criminal and his name is still whispered in Lae as the infamous 'raskol' who brought Lae to a halt for a day or two some 15-20 years ago. His crimes preceded him and now his criminal record trails him.

But God is good and His ways are gracious. It was His inscrutable will that saw Malcolm meet an early death. Not that God is the cause of Malcolm's sin, Malcolm is, but neither were the days of Malcolm not marked out from the beginning of time. His death was inside His plan, His sovereign, gracious plan. And a part of that plan, to speak so boldly, was to bring Malcolm's dad and mom, sisters and brother to Himself in repentance and faith. He was to show them abundant grace!

So the story continues. Humbled and full of remorse, shame and guilt, Malcolm's parents sought help. And in the economy of God's ways, they sought help at the very place where their son had caused so much pain--the pastor's house at our church! By this time the old tenants had moved out and new tenants had moved in (we are renting the home until we have our own national pastor). The current renters are an elder and his wife with their 6 children. But little did we know that the elder, Andrew, knew Malcolm's dad. They grew up together; and in their teens they were partners in crime. However, after Andrew married he left that life of crime; and then in early 2007 after leaving the Catholic church in town, him and his wife joined ours. So when Malcolm's parents came knocking, seeking help and support, Andrew and his wife, Agnus, were quick to open their hearts and their home to them. And in this home where there was once much pain and terror, grace was at work. Some two years after the crime, the Lord melted their hearts and brought them to their knees in repentance. He then led them to our church to hear the Word preached, witness the sacraments and, in due time and as His grace prevails, become confessing members of it.

And yet the pain lingers. Pain often lingers. Recently I preached on hell, actually it was on Good Friday. After this sermon him and his wife went home and could not speak to each other, they told me later. Words failed them. There is so much pain in the questions of their son's standing before God. Where is he, now? Then on Easter Sunday I preached on Heaven and the all-sufficient grace of God in Christ Jesus to make us heirs, co-heirs with Christ of His eternal home. After the service Malcolm's dad had the courage to share some words with me.

He came to me--he was broken. He asked: "can God really forgive me? What about the horrible sins I've

committed? What about the way I led my son down the road to an early death?" Yes, it is true that Malcolm was an adult, he will be held to account for his own sin, but his dad struggles with the pain of being implicated in his sin. "Can God really forgive such terrible sins?" he asked again. Oh, the burden of sin and of shame and guilt--it is immeasurable, really. So I did what every pastor would--share the Gospel again. He needed to know that grace is extremely costly, but it is also unquestionably free. It cost the Father His one and only Son on the cross. And at that place of death and judgment Christ bore the full, unmitigated burden of God's wrath against sin, our sin, every-one of our sins! That's the cost. But it is also free! And as deep and hideous as our sins are, God's grace-received by faith-reaches down and purges! I shared with him a number of texts that he should meditate upon, beginning with Isaiah 53 and Psalm 103 and then we prayed together.

Words so quickly break down when dealing with life and death. And yet in God's inscrutable and gracious ways we can find peace! For it was through Malcolm's death that his dad and mom's eyes were forced opened to see their need for a Saviour. And now they, with their three daughters and son and maybe generations to come, have found the way. The way of truth and grace in Jesus Christ! Praise God with us, and hold them in prayer as you do....

Riot Day?

Last week a young man from the Highlands was killed here in Lae, which resulted in further fighting and houses being burned down. As a result the tribesmen of this young man requested to meet with the Governor yesterday to present a petition. This meeting took place near Jonathan's school and so it was closed for the day, in case the crowd who gathered got out of control. Thankfully, the meeting went over peacefully (and we hope for a peaceful resolution too) and Jonathan was glad to have the day off! Especially since it was the last day that our friends from out of town were visiting. He and Karlyn had a great day together with Philemon and Joel.

Karlyn says she wants to marry Philemon!

One More!

Agro the Crocodile from the Habitat wasn't too happy that

I forgot to include his photo in the last post.

It's best to keep him happy, so here he is!

Photo Update

So many things happen that I don't find the time to blog about, so here are a bunch of photos from various events of the last 2 months.

This young man in the photo with Ian began studying at the Reformed Churches Bible College in Port Moresby last month. His name is Greg and he's bright and inquisitive and says he's enjoying life and studies at the RCBC very much.

Although you can barely see them in the photo, Bruce and Dina 't Hart

from Albany, Australia really did visit Lae!

We enjoyed a rainforest hike with them.

At Easter, there was a youth conference at our church

and here are most of the participants.

They had a great time studying God's Word and having fun together.

For the past 6 weeks, our kids have enjoyed visiting these puppies at our friend's place.

"Can I keep him, Mom? Pleeaaase?"

(Except our landlords won't allow pet dogs in the compound:().

Our serious little man.

This past week we had Henry and Rita Versteeg visiting from Port Moresby.

It was their first visit to Lae and we shared our life and work with them,

and also took them to the Rainforest Habitat at the University.

Ian and Caleb enjoying the Rainforest Walk.

"Look at that, Jono!"

(A Crowned Pigeon)

The Whole Fam

Rita is quite the bird expert and got some great shots of different species:

The Southern Cassowary

The Blue Bird of Paradise

Also this past week, we went on a Bush Walk and Nature Scavenger Hunt with Jonathan's class.

It took place at the Lae City Mission property 11 miles outside of Lae.

This mission reaches out to young men who are caught in a life of crime

and tries to help them find employment.

Six of these young men were our guides for the hike

and as we walked they pointed out bright green lizards, huge spiders and other critters for the class to see. It was great fun.

God's creation is always amazing.

That's all for now!

Hard to Understand

It was about a year ago that I first met this little sweetheart named Charlotte. She is the niece of a young woman who attends our church and is the fifth daughter born to her parents. As you can see, she is absolutely adorable and precious. Shortly after this photo was taken, I heard that she was sent to go live with some relatives in Port Moresby who wanted a baby. She would've only been about 5 months old--still very much needing her mother. This is just so hard for me to understand, especially since this family is not that poor and it doesn't seem like it would've been that hard for them to care for Charlotte as well. And what about the mother? What is it like to give a little one whom has grown inside of you, is so much a part of you, to someone else? I saw the mom shortly after Charlotte was given away and the tears sprang to her eyes quickly when I asked about the situation. It must've been so hard for her.

And yet it is a fairly common practice here for children to be given to relatives for various reasons. It's not a formal arrangement through the courts or anything like that. I'm not sure if any money or goods are exchanged but I have a feeling there is probably a transaction of some sort. Often children are given away to a husband and wife who can't have children of their own; usually by a family who has a lot of children and can't afford to care for them all. Or sometimes it's not the choice of the family at all. We knew of a family with three daughters and one son, and an uncle asked to have the son, and out of respect for him, the parents could not refuse him. So they were living here in Lae and their son 5 hours away in the village with his uncle. I wonder how this impacted that little boy. And I know it was hard on the parents. Often when twins are born, one of them is given away--sometimes this is because of superstition, but many times it's because they cannot care for them both. There are actually identical twins in the nearby settlement who are being raised in different families, but have not been told the truth about each other, even though they play together all the time! Unbelievable, isn't it? I don't understand why for the emotional well-being of the children these things are not openly talked about. As they get older, aren't they going to figure it out? Many times it seems parents choose to keep the secret and I remember from my studies in social work, these types of secrets are never a healthy thing for families and have a way of being revealed, even when the parents think the secret is being kept.

I really struggle to understand these situations and I know that I have to be careful not to judge.

There is so much we still don't know about this culture and so we can't possibly fully understand what all goes on when a child is given to another family. It is best for us not to get too involved in these kinds of situations.

Yet, I couldn't keep my mouth shut a few weeks ago after Bible Study. We were almost pulling out of the church when one of the women said, "Oh, can you just wait a bit? We have to wait for a baby." Ok, no problem, I said and figured that someone's neice or nephew or grandchild was coming to stay with them for a while. That's quite normal around here too. But then, a woman I didn't know arrived at the church with a toddler and an infant. And a few minutes later, the infant was in the car with us, and the mom and toddler were staying behind. I asked what was going on. Well, the baby was being given to a family in Biwat Settlement. I looked at the mother who had just given her baby away and I'm not sure what I was expecting, but her face was pretty expressionless. Underneath that expressionless face, what emotions were happening inside? Was her heart being ripped apart at giving her baby away? Was she angry at her situation? Frustrated? Ambivalent? Was she feeling some sort of resignation that this is the way things are and that's that? I will never know.

We drove on towards home and I asked which family in Biwat the baby was going to. I could not believe it when I was told that the baby was going to the family that had just given away little Charlotte last year! That's when I got a bit angry because I realized this baby was the one thing little Charlotte was not...a BOY. And after four daughters, that's what Charlotte's parents were hoping for, but the Lord chose to bless them with another daughter. And instead of cherishing that blessing they gave her away, and thought they knew better what their family should look like. It wasn't about not being able to afford a fifth child; it was about wanting a son, not...another...daughter. How can they have peace with that, I ask? I know that I may sound like I'm being terribly judgmental and hard on them. I admit I don't know everything about their situation, but I did ask the women driving in the car with me that day, "How about just letting God be God and letting Him decide what our families will be?" No one answered. And so we drove on in silence, bringing this baby boy to his new family, and all the while I was wondering, how is little Charlotte doing?